
[Image description: Lewis at age 21, eating a piece of pie on a stoop and looking wide-eyed at the camera]
Fourteen years ago today, I received my first shot of testosterone. I was in a community clinic in San Francisco, one of only four I knew at the time that used an informed consent model for initiating hormone treatment for trans people without a diagnosis of Gender Identity Disorder (a harmful, pathologizing diagnosis I wanted to avoid at the time, which has since been removed from the DSM).
I had taken two busses, a train, and the subway to get to the city from my home in rural California, about a 6-hour trip if I got lucky with transfers. All of my transit, labs, and appointments were paid out of pocket from my own savings – my job at the time paid in housing, food, and the occasional sweatshirt, and I was afraid to charge my parent’s insurance due to privacy concerns. I had been planning for this day for years, prioritizing a job post-graduation where I could be out as nonbinary in an era with very low enby visibility, and be able to access gender-affirming care without owning a car.
The nurse was very brusque with me. He taught me how to do my own intramuscular injections, unhelpfully emphasizing the ways he had seen others do it wrong. (I was anxious about doing irreparable damage that whole first year, something I now realize is pretty hard to do.) He injected me with my first dose and sent me on my way, a process that took all of 15 seconds. I was elated. I remember being the only person in the waiting room that day, feeling so strange that there was no one there to witness this huge moment in my life. But I also felt good that this memory, this story, was mine alone. I got reborn that day as Lewis, and I had no idea how much better my life would get as my experience of being in my body got closer to my experience of being in my soul.
When I first imagined posting on this day a few months ago, I thought I would just write a little bit about my experience with trans youth healthcare and underscoring how essential gender-affirming care for youth is. (Yes, this was long enough ago that I was in a youth clinic – trans adults start as trans youth. Trans youth rights are trans rights, period.)
Unfortunately, the fight we are facing as trans people has taken serious turns for the worse, with threats to our existence that even my cautious, appropriately-suspicious-of-authority younger self would have been shocked by on that day back in 2011. The US government shut down today, and Republicans are blaming Democrats wanting “transgender for everyone” (yes, please, thank you) for causing the grinding halt. Elected officials are calling for our institutionalization, publicly, with microphones they know are on. Our right to vote, to serve in the military, to access healthcare, to have accurate identification documents, and to be able to move across borders are all in serious danger.
I’d like to be able to go back in time and ask my younger self what ze would say in this frightening time, because I think that ze would offer some good advice. I imagine it would involve making disruptive performance art, reading the work of our ancestors, and being unapologetically trans in public. It would definitely involve showing up as our full selves as much as we can, despite the firestorm surrounding us.
Luckily, there are lots of trans youth with us here and now that can help lead the way. Listen to them. Protect them. Let their magic shine. We are way past the point of writing our representatives and senators (though if you are a US voter, especially a cisgender one, do that, too, please). What we need right now is a revolution. And nobody knows revolt better than those of us who have had to fight for our very right to exist.


![In-vitro fertilization (IVF) was an important concept in my unit on genetically editing zygotes. [Image description: a student illustration of a needle pointing at an egg in a petri dish.]](https://fishyteaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/screen-shot-2019-07-12-at-3.34.41-pm.png)


![This student wanted to illustrate AND write the text for her piece. [Image description: a pregnant body next to a clock with a passage about birth.]](https://fishyteaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/screen-shot-2019-07-12-at-3.36.46-pm.png)
![Students often loved - or avoided! - illustrating one of the passages about birth. I gave student groups free choice of what part of the book they were interested in illustrating. [Image description: A medical worker is performing a C section and surgically removing a baby from the body of a pregnant person.]](https://fishyteaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/screen-shot-2019-07-12-at-3.38.09-pm.png)








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